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Pretty boy with big gun in one of the slashiest shows on TV. Humina humina.
Funny Quotes
This site contains swearing and frequent use of various four-letter words, just thought I'd tell ya. Anyway, enjoy...
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- I need you!
- For what? Target practice?!
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- Are you with me?
- I'm doing my best.
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- I love you.
- If you really loved me you'd find a way to drop dead in five seconds.
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- She wouldn't have said shit if her mouth was full of it!
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- Who give a fuck seems to be the general tone of things.
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- There's more than one way to skin a cat...and I happen to know that's factually true.
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- Move and I'll shoot you.
- Shoot him anyway!
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- Why do you break into people's houses to steal women's underwear? Get a catalogue!
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- When you hang out in a bar long enough, pass out drunk enough, people are bound to know where you live so they can drag you home.
- Well, you've got to be an expert in something.
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- You bleeding?
- Ofcourse I'm bleeding, you shot me!
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- Oh man, you look awful. Did you get hit by a truck?
- No, the truck missed me.
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- You tease, if you shoot make it count.
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- The role of saviour doesn't suit mediocrity.
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- What are you carrying beside the rifle?
- A shotgun.
- What else?
- A Glock 50.
- And?
- An Uzi.
- If that's not paranoia I don't know what is. I'm just surprised you're not carrying a grenade launcher.
- I couldn't get a permit.
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- I'll cover you!
- Cover me, not blow a hole in me!
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- First they tell me I can't kill elephants for their ivory, now they're pleading for the ethical treatment of werewolves. Buffy, TVS
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- They fired me!
- I don't blame them.
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- Man, where's all your furniture?
- It's called minimalism.
- Yeah, I had that at my place, I called it being broke.
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- Was this a good idea?
- Well, it was an idea.
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- I'm not a bad shot.
- If you were William Tell you'd be in jail for shooting your kid.
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Now get out of here before I redecorate the wall behind you with an interesting new colour called 'tinge of brain'.
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- I didn't kill her, I was in love with here!
- Cut the bullshit.
- Well, I liked her.
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- He wouldn't stop talking, I thought he was gonna bullshit me to death.
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- Have you ever been with a woman before?
- You mean like...in the same room?
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- I'm not so sure if I killed him. I mean, I stuck a fork in his neck and it looked like he was gonna bleed to death in the not so distant future.
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- What's the fun in burying someone who's already dead?
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- What did you say?!
- Oh nothing, I'm on drugs.
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- Something's going on and I don't know what it is.
- Are you drunk?
- No, drunk is more fun.
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- You wanna throw up here or in the car?
- I think...both.
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- I'm going to grind you into a sticky paste!
- So, are you gonna kill me or are we just making smalltalk?
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- Is he gonna be allright?
- Well, if I say yes and he croaks, you're gonna be angry aren't you.
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- He doesn' need a lawyer, he needs an exorcist.
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- Last night a strange man pounded on my door all night long.
- What did you do?
- I finally let him out.
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- Let's just stick to plan A.
- In plan A she was dead!
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- Where you headed?
- Nowhere special.
- Nowhere special. I always wanted to go there.
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- Which did you like better? "Jedi" or "The Empire Strikes Back"?
- Empire.
- Blasphemy.
- "Empire" had the better ending. I mean, Luke gets his hand cut off, finds out Vader's his father, Han gets frozen and taken away by Boba Fett. It ends on such a down note. I mean, that's what life is, a series of down endings. All "Jedi" had was a bunch of Muppets.
Clerks
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- I should've known. She didn't like me. Girls... never... like me.
- I don't think anybody likes you.
- I like me.
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- Heh, me lead you? Lady look at me, I don't even know where the hell I am half the time!
Dogma
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- You know what the dead do with most of their time? They watch the living. Especially in the shower.
- I can't wait to die
Dogma
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- I'm responsible for nineteen of the twenty top-grossing films of all time.
- Nineteen?
- Yeah, the one about the kid, by himself in his house, burglars trying to get in and he fights them off? I had nothing to do with that one. Somebody sold their soul to Satan to get the grosses up on that piece of shit.
Dogma
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- So what do we do now?
- Well, I say we get drunk, because I'm all out of ideas
Dogma
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- Whatever I am, he made me! I was adorable once, young and full of hope. And now look at me! I'm this short, fat, insecure, middle-aged THING!
- I made you short?
The birdcage
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- Ok...Plan B...let's just kill each other
Face/off
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- Victory is mine, victory is mine. Great day in the morning, victory is mine
- Good morning, Josh.
- I drink from the keg of glory, Donna. Bring me the finest muffins and bagels in all the land
- It's going to be an unbearable day
The West Wing
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- Oh, my God; I care so little, I almost passed out.
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